Samples
This page hosts samples of editing work I have done for clients, and is posted with their permission. Obviously the expectation is that their work will not be plagiarised.
Before:
"A global mindset is one in which people have the flexibility to adapt to different situations and are able to see the world from multiple perspectives. Today’s increasingly global economy has made the world flat and therefore, we have to embrace different perspectives to work with a mix of people. A global mindset is one in which diversity is used as a strength to be collectively powerful, in order to create a journey where people can have opportunities to contribute and share knowledge. Growing up in three different countries has taught me to appreciate diverse cultures and adapt quickly, whether it be the rich culture of India, the warm people of Kenya or the cold weather of Canada. Learning how to solve problems and look at situations from a different perspective became a part of my life at a very young age, but the old way of doing things is still a reference point for me."
My Comments in bolded red:
May 2013
Before:
"A global mindset is one in which people have the flexibility to adapt to different situations and are able to see the world from multiple perspectives. Today’s increasingly global economy has made the world flat and therefore, we have to embrace different perspectives to work with a mix of people. A global mindset is one in which diversity is used as a strength to be collectively powerful, in order to create a journey where people can have opportunities to contribute and share knowledge. Growing up in three different countries has taught me to appreciate diverse cultures and adapt quickly, whether it be the rich culture of India, the warm people of Kenya or the cold weather of Canada. Learning how to solve problems and look at situations from a different perspective became a part of my life at a very young age, but the old way of doing things is still a reference point for me."
My Comments in bolded red:
"A global mindset is one in which people have the flexibility to adapt to different situations and are able to see the world from multiple perspectives. Today’s increasingly global economy has made the world flat Not the best metaphor. It kind of contradicts what you said previously. A flat world is not only a throwback to an older, simpler and less transnational period of history, but it has a simple, uncomplicated connotation, which is the complete opposite of a global mindset. and it is therefore essential to embrace different perspectives in order to work with a mix of people. A global mindset is one in which diversity is recognized as a strength to the collective, and promotes an atmosphere of equal opportunities to contribute and share knowledge. Growing up in three different countries on three different continents has taught me to appreciate a diversity of cultures and to adapt quickly, whether it be the rich culture of India, the warm people of Kenya or the cold weather of Canada. Okay, you went from talking about culture to people to weather. These sort of sentences work better if you’re talking about one common theme. Learning to problem-solve and visualize the world as others see it became a part of my life at a very young age, but the old way of doing things is still a reference point for me. This last bit is very vague. What is “the old way of doing things”?"
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